The Wedding Reception
Introduction
The wedding reception
allows family and friends of the couple to offer their
congratulations and celebrate the couple's new status. The style of reception
will depend on the budget available and the number of guests as well as
personal preferences. The wedding reception is one of the most expensive
elements of any wedding. The main decisions to be made are:
1. The type of location, e.g. hotel, church hall, home
2. Who will do the catering? e.g. in-house, outside caterer, family and friends
3. Style of catering, e.g. sit-down meal, buffet
Plans for the wedding reception should be initiated as soon as the wedding
date is set. Advanced notice of 3 months is usual for many venues although
longer may be necessary for popular venues or at busy times of the year.
The reception should be held near to location of wedding ceremony if a
possible as this simplifies the transport arrangements.
Ask friends and acquaintances for recommendations when choosing a reception
venue. It is essential to visit the venue before making a booking. Relying on
telephone enquiries and pictures in brochures is not adequate preparation when
making such an important decision.
Types of Venues
Hotels, Restaurants,
Banqueting Suites
The main advantage of holding the reception in a hotel, restaurant or
banqueting suite is that they can organise all the catering and other
arrangements leaving the couple and their family to enjoy the celebration.
When you have drawn up a short-list it is a good idea to visit the hotels or
restaurants for a meal before making enquiries. This will give some idea as to
their standards of food, service and the general atmosphere of the venue.
Many function venues provide a wedding service. They may offer an inclusive
price for a fixed number of guests which includes changing room for the
couple, food, drink table decorations etc. or they offer these services for an
extra charge.
If there is to be an evening reception, it usual to hold this in the same
location.
Ask for a brochure, if available, and then arrange an appointment.
The following is a list of topics to be discussed before making a booking:
The number of guests and the size of the function room. The larger venues
may have several function rooms of different sizes.
The menu. Most venues will offer a choice of menus and wines at various
prices. Ask what provisions they make for special diets such as vegetarian
or for diabetics.
Seating plans. Ask what seating plans are possible in the space available.
The final choice will depend on which groupings of people you think get on
well with each other.
Discuss the times when the reception venues will be open to your guest and
the timings of meals, music etc. Make sure that there are no time gaps
between the wedding and reception or reception and evening celebration and
if this is unavoidable inform guests in advance.
Room and table decorations. Ask to see the table linen and place settings to
ensure they do not clash with the overall colour scheme of the wedding.
Floral room and table decorations and balloons may be supplied by the venue
or you may wish to use another supplier from outside.
Parking. Does the venue have enough parking spaces for all guests and, if
not, is it easily available in the surrounding area?
On arrival guests are usually greeted and offered a drink. The venue will
probably offer Champagne, sparkling wine, Bucks Fizz or Sherry. Ask for
prices and which soft drinks they can offer.
Will the head waiter or some other member of staff act as master of
ceremonies?
Changing room for bride and groom. Most venues offer a room for the bride
and groom to change in.
Ask which other weddings are taking place on the same day and if you will
you be sharing any facilities such as bars or reception areas.
Check the toilet facilities. The bride and bridesmaids will need more room
than usual if they are they are wearing elaborate skirts.
Does the venue have an adjoining room or perhaps a table in a corner of the
main room where wedding gifts can be displayed?
If the reception is being held in a hotel they will often offer special
rates for the bridal suite or for guests to stay overnight.
Community Halls
In most localities there is a church, school or local authority hall available
for hire. Also, many pubs have private function rooms available for hire. It
is usual to book halls 4 to 6 months in advance. For a small number of guests
the catering may be done by family and friends although it is more convenient
to have outside caterers for a larger gathering. The suitability of halls for
wedding receptions and the facilities they offer vary enormously so it is
essential see the hall and its surroundings and discuss what facilities they
offer in detail before booking. Items to check include:
General appearance. Is the hall in a suitable condition to hold a wedding
reception and is it in a state of cleanliness suitable to serve food.
Will the hall be heated? Some halls do not have heating or heating may not
be turned on at certain times.
Is the hall a suitable size for the number of guests? Are there enough
general facilities such as toilets and parking?
Will the hall provide tables, chairs, linen, crockery, cutlery and glasses
etc? If hiring caterers they may provide these items.
What cooking and cleaning facilities are available. Most halls will only
have a basic cooker and a single sink. Are refrigerators, tea urns etc.
available? It is probable that most of the food will be prepared by caterers
or at home, away from the hall, but enough worktops will be needed to store
food and to add finishing touches to food displays.
Find out where everything is in the hall and how all the equipment operates
in advance. Help may not be available on the day.
Discuss when access can be gained to the hall to prepare for the reception.
For example it may not be possible to set up the tables the day before if
the hall is booked for some other activity. When does the hall have to be
vacated? Ensure that adequate time is left for clearing up.
Will consumption of alcohol and smoking be allowed?
Marquees
Hiring a marquee is an option if a large enough garden is available. Marquees
come in varying sizes to accommodate most wedding parties. It allows the
reception to be held at home when the house is not large enough. Flooring,
dance floors, linings and lighting can also be hired and in the winter heating
may also be necessary. A marquee is not an inexpensive option however. The
hire of the marquee together with the cost of caterers and other fixtures will
leave a bill in the same price range as holding the reception in an hotel.
Most marquee hire companies provide a brochure to allow you to choose the
marquee and other items such as flooring, matting, lighting etc. Choose a firm
who are prepared to visit the site before accepting an order. This ensures
that they will be aware of any possible problems the site may present. Also,
ensure that they are prepared to be called out if any problems occur on the
day of the wedding. Marquees are usually erected two or three days before the
wedding day.
Caterers usually occupy a separate tent to prepare the food although they may
require access the house kitchen.
It is usual to use toilet facilities in the house although for a large
reception portable toilets may be hired.
At Home
The reception held at home is suitable for a small number of guests. It is
informal and can be a more relaxed affair. It may also be less expensive than
other options.
A sit-down meal is possible if the party is very small. However, the most
practical option is to have a buffet. This not only adds to the informal
atmosphere but also requires less equipment such as crockery and cutlery and
people can serve themselves.
If not using outside caterers it is possible to hire crockery, glasses and
even tea urns to boil water. Alternative you can borrow from friends or use
disposable items.
Catering
Hiring Caterers
When choosing a caterer seek recommendations from family and friends. It is
difficult to judge the standard of service on offer just by looking at
brochures.
Caterers can supply table linen, crockery and cutlery. They can also provide
drinks. If the caterers are supplying the drinks they may only charge for
bottles opened. If you are providing the drinks they may charge a little extra
to serve drinks.
The caterer should visit the site of the reception to allow him to decide what
further equipment and facilities he will need to provide. For a small buffet
they will bring the food already prepared and may only need washing up and
coffee making facilities. For a larger event the caterer may need to bring a
cooker and a fridge.
Most caterers will clear away. Discuss with the caterer when the clearing away
will be done and if serving staff will be required after the meal to serve
drinks. Also, ask if a member of staff will act as Master of Ceremonies and if
they can organise the cutting and serving of the wedding cake.
Self-Catering
Preparing food for a reception is a major task and should only be undertaken
after serious thought and planning. The couple and their family will have many
other arrangements to deal with in the period leading up to the wedding. The
day itself is for the family to celebrate the wedding and they may not wish to
spend a major part of the day preparing food and cleaning.
A buffet is the easiest food serve. Food can be prepared in advance and guests
can serve themselves.
Draw up a plan with a list of food to be prepared and tasks to be done and
then decide who will do which task and when.
Ensure that you have adequate storage space for food. You may have to borrow
fridge or freezer space from friends. Some items can be ordered from caterers
and delivered on the day.
As fridge space is at a premium at this time drinks should be chilled in bins
filled with ice (bought from supermarkets or off-licences to save freezer
space). Many off licences will lend glasses for events if you buy drinks from
them.
Arrange to borrow cutlery, crockery, serving dishes etc. from friends. These
may also be hired. Using disposable plates, cutlery and table coverings will
result in less cleaning afterwards.
Formal Meal or
Buffet?
The main decision to be made about the food is what style of meal to have:
formal meal with waiters
sit down buffet (fork buffet)
standing buffet (finger buffet)
Hotels and restaurants usually provide sit-down meals for wedding receptions
although many will provide a buffet if requested.
Formal Meal
When choosing the menu it important to choose items which most people will
find acceptable rather choosing the more exotic dishes in the hope of
impressing guests. Safe dishes include soup, chicken, roast meats and
vegetables while. For dessert fruit salad or apple pie are acceptable. Hotels
and restaurants may offer a choice of two three choices for each course but
they will charge extra for the service.
Guests should notify hosts when accepting invitations if they require
vegetarian or special diets.
Sit-Down Buffet
The sit-down buffet allows is less expensive than a formal meal but allows the
hosts to determine the seating plan and guests are ensured a table place.
Guest usually serve themselves from the buffet and then return to their
places. Because a variety of foods is on offer to guests some experimental or
exotic items can be included with the standard buffet items of cold meats, vol
au vents, salads, sausage rolls, canapes, sandwiches etc.
Hot food can also be included in a sit down-buffet. Dishes which guests can
easily help themselves to include curries with rice, pasta with sauce and
casseroles.
Standing Buffet
This is the most informal eating style. The food is normal laid at one end of
the room and at the appointed time guests help themselves. Because at least
some of the guests will be standing while eating they will not be able to use
cutlery and therefore the foods should be suitable for eating with the hands.
Clips are available for attaching glasses to plates. This frees one hand for
picking up food.
Some seating should be provided. Although guests do not have set places most
people will want to sit for at least some of the time at the reception,
particularly if they are elderly.
Drinks
Guests are usually greeted at the reception with a drink of sherry, Champagne
or Bucks Fizz.
Wine is served with meals although a variety of drinks can be served with a
buffet.
For the toasts champagne or sparkling wine should be served. If a white wine
was served with the meal this is also acceptable for the toasts.
A plentiful supply of soft drinks and mineral water should also be available
for people who have to drive and for children. Other guests may have the
occasional soft drink particularly if an afternoon reception is to be followed
by a an evening celebration.
Drinks are usually supplied by the management in hotels and restaurants. If
you want to supply your own drinks they will charge a corkage fee. Hotels
often provide a bar. The host can choose to pay for all bar drinks or allow
guests to purchase their own. A third alternative is for the host to put a
fixed sum of money "behind the bar" until it is spent when guests buy
their
own drinks. In some communities, e.g. Jewish or Greek, it is not considered
appropriate for guests to buy drinks. A licence is needed to sell alcohol and
so it is illegal to sell drinks in most hired halls or home receptions.
When buying drinks for a reception shop around. Many off licences offer
discounts on bulk purchases or allow the return of opened bottles. Others may
offer to lend glasses or supply free ice.
Organise a rota of people to serve at the bar if this is not one of the
caterer's duties. Most people will be glad to help for a short period.
The Wedding Cake
The traditional wedding cake is a two or three tiered round or square fruit
cake with marzipan decorated with royal icing. The softer fondant icing is
becoming increasingly popular. Some couples choose other cakes such as
suitably decorated sponge or chocolate cakes.
The cake can be decorated with coloured icing sugar piping, flowers made from
sugar, a small vase or spray of real flowers or figures of the bride and groom
or lucky horseshoe.
The cake is usually supplied by a specialist confectioner. The confectioner
will have a brochure of their various sizes and styles of cakes and the type
of decorations available. This will give the couple basic ideas which they can
modify and personalise to design their perfect cake. A good cake supplier will
have samples for you to taste. The confectioner should also be able to advise
of the appropriate size of the cake for the number of guests.
When deciding on the size of cake remember that you may want to send some to
people who are unable to attend the reception. It is traditional to keep the
smallest, top tier of the cake for the first wedding anniversary or the
christening of the first child.
Some hotels and caterers can supply the wedding cake as part of their
reception service.
The wedding cake should be ordered at least three months in advance.
Because the cake can be baked months before the wedding it is possible to bake
one at home in advance when not preoccupied with the last minute wedding
arrangements. Cake tins of appropriate sizes are available for hire.
Some cake confectioners provide a cake decorating facility. This may be the
solution if you have an old family cake recipe you want to use but are less
confident about the your decorating skills.
The cake is usually delivered to the reception venue on the morning of the
reception. Ensure in advance that the cake supplier or the caterer will
assemble the cake and add any final decorations.
Seating Plan
A seating plan should be drawn up for a formal reception. The exact
arrangement of tables will depend on the venue. The top table will be for the
wedding party and should include the couple, their parents, the best man and
the chief bridesmaid. Ushers and other bridesmaids may also sit at the top
table if places are available.
Suggested Seating Order at the Top Table
Chief Bridesmaid
Groom's Father
Bride's Mother
Bridegroom
Bride
Bride's Father
Groom's Mother
Best Man
As a general rule the closer relations and friends are seated nearest the top
table. Some people choose to seat the bride's family on one side of the venue
and the groom's on the other side. However it is more important to combine
people who will get on well together than to keep to any 'rules'. After all,
the wedding in many cultures is seen as a joining two families.
Seating plans are not necessary for buffet receptions although they are an
option if there are enough seats for everyone present.
Greeting Arrivals at
the Reception
The bridal party usually greets the guests as they arrive at the reception and
they are offered a drink. The receiving line order is as follows:
Bride's Mother
Bride's Father
Groom's Mother
Groom's Father
Bride
Groom
Chief Bridesmaid
Best Man
At a less formal reception the guests may be greeted by just the bride and
groom.
Speeches
After the meal the Master of Ceremonies introduces the speeches. If there is
no toastmaster the Best Man takes this role.
The Bride's Father
The bride's father is the first to speak. In his speech he normally thanks the
guests for attending, mentions the groom's parents, welcomes the groom into
his family, and says a few words about the joy the bride brought to her
parents as she was growing up. He may offer advice to the couple or express
confidence in their future happiness. Finally he proposes a toast to the health
and happiness of the bride and groom.
The Groom
The groom replies on behalf of his new wife and himself. The main purpose of
his speech is to offer thanks.
He expresses his gratitude to:
the guests for their presents and good wishes
his parents for his upbringing
his new in-laws for hosting the wedding and/or allowing him to marry their
daughter
all the other people who have helped with the wedding arrangements including
the best man and drawing particular attention to the bridesmaids.
Finally he proposes a toast to the bridesmaids.
The Best Man
The best man replies on behalf of the bridesmaids. His speech should be
lighthearted and amusing. He should congratulate the bride and groom and thank
anyone who has been of particular assistance to him. He should also thank
anyone the bride has asked him to acknowledge on her behalf. His speech may
include amusing anecdotes from the groom's past but should not under any
circumstances cause embarrassment or offence to the bride. He should also
mention close family members or friends who are unable to attend the wedding.
He closes his speech with a toast to the bride and groom's future happiness
before reading out any telegrams or telemessages. If there are too many he
could just read out the senders names.
The bride does not usually make a speech. She may say a few words if she
wishes after the groom has spoken.
Cutting the Cake
The cake is cut by the bride and groom after the speeches and toasts. The
bride and groom together make the first cut, with a suitably ornate knife, in
the bottom tier of the cake. The cake is then taken away and cut up by the
caterers of some other designated person.
Some couples choose to cut the cake before the speeches. The cake can then be
cut up while the speeches are taking place and served immediately after the
toasts. The cake can be distributed by the waiters or the bridesmaids.
After the
Formalities
After all the formalities music can begin. The dancing is usually led by the
bride and groom.
During the later part of the reception the bride and groom should circulate
and exchange a few words with all the guests and allow them to admire the
wedding outfits at close range.
While the bride and groom change into their going away outfits guests can
decorate the car with balloons, cans, shoes etc. Before leaving, the bride
usually throws her bouquet to the unmarried female guests. Tradition holds
that the one who catches it will be the next to marry.
The best man or the hosts should ensure that arrangements have been made to
take away all the wedding presents, the couple's wedding outfits etc.